Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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