grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
