Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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