shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
