Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
