yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
