What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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