Non-Jews are for practice
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.