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At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Randomize
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