one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?