What a fucking waste of an outfit
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.