Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life