He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.