Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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