I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
