think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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