life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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