Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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