If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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