Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
