can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
