maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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