So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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