Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
