There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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