I hope mine doesn't look like that
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.