I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?