I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.