Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
PANTIES FOUND
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
