I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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