Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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