Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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