I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize