i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize