I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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