so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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