HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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