It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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