I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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