You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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