Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
