it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
