I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
