Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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