I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
