Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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