After last night, I could never be a politician.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
