So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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