I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is wine microwaveable?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
