We're like a lot better than the average bears
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
