he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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