Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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