hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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