Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
