my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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