Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
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SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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