pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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