I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
