you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
