Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
