My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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