i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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