big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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