I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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