Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
