You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls