they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
