i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize