Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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