if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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