i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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