she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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