Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
