Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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