dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
