I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I could fuck to npr.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
