I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
