I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize